We lost Mairyn Elise to suicide April 1, 2021 at the age of 22. She is terribly missed by family and friends. This blog has been left for her loved ones. The world was more beautiful with Mairyn in it. If you’re feeling depressed, remember that you will be missed. Please choose to live another day and get help. If you’ll do something extreme to end your life, why not go to the extreme to save it?
Call The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 800-273-8255
I’ve thought about what I should write first for a while now, and it just made sense to write about my life a little bit. I want you to feel like you know me and I want you to feel comfortable here. My experiences are completely my own and I want that authenticity to show in every single post. Let’s get started!
I was born in Edina, Minnesota in 1998…….
Okay, I’m not going to go THAT far back. Let’s just give you some basics.
I grew up with two older brothers, and my dad recently retired from the Navy after over 20 years of service. We weren’t the typical military family though and ended up staying in Florida for about 12 years straight before moving to California for a year. My parents and my oldest brother still live out there and recently moved from the Los Angeles area to San Diego. While I was living with them in California, my mom and I were also planning my wedding and my brother was preparing for and having brain surgery. It was a busy year for sure, but I loved living out there. I got married on October 5th in San Diego with the help of my wonderful parents. This was after my brother’s brain surgery. After that, I moved across the country with my husband BACK to Florida
My work life has pretty much always been a mess, but it’s finally calming down after what feels like forever. My first job ever was as a dog bather at PetSmart. I stayed with the company for almost three years. Earlier this year, I went to the grooming academy and became a dog groomer. I was extremely excited about this change at the time and had been preparing for it for over a year. Unfortunately, while it was something I was passionate about, my body couldn’t keep up with the strain of it all and my physical and mental health was declining rapidly. One of my friends told me about a receptionist opportunity at her current job, and the rest is history. I’ve been here a little over a month, and it’s been a much needed change in my life. I have already noticed a huge difference in myself overall since coming here. The job is much more relaxed, which allows me to work on stuff like this! That’s right! I can write for my blog while doing my job here. How great is that? I used to come home from work already dreading the next day and being in so much pain that I couldn’t function when I got home. Working even three days in a row seemed impossible. Doing the dishes seemed impossible. Focusing on my favorite book or movie seemed impossible. Now I am working five days straight every single week, and I am feeling so much better. I have the energy to do the things I love and I am a much happier person because of that.
If you couldn’t tell, this job has allowed me the opportunity to focus on myself and my growth. It’s also given my body the chance to recover from all the stress it was under, and while I am waiting for my new insurance to take effect, I’m not making my health worse just by working. I am very passionate about doing what’s best for yourself and this is just one example of me doing that.
Talking more about my health, when I was in seventh grade I started to complain of joint pain and fatigue. I felt as if I couldn’t keep up with my classmates physically, and by the time I was in High School marching band, one long practice could mean a whole day of recovering at home while everyone else was able to attend their classes. Later on, I was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and Hypermobility. This was not the answer I had been hoping for, but it has been a learning experience for me and an opportunity for growth as well. It’s made me stop and listen to my body a lot more than I would have in the past and it has let me slow down and enjoy all the little things in my life. You will most likely see me write about my experiences with this and my other health issues that I face later on in this blog, but if you’re interested now, I have a few articles on The Mighty. The Mighty is an online magazine and community that focuses on chronic illness, mental and physical health, and the stigma that’s attached to invisible illnesses.
One thing you will also notice about me going forward is that I love visual art. I won’t identify as an artist or anything of that sort just because I haven’t reached that level of confidence with my work yet, but I do enjoy learning more about it and appreciate going to art museums and everything else. Very recently, I picked cross-stitching back up after years of ignoring it, and I even started learning how to embroider as well. Creative outlets bring me so much joy and comfort when life seems crazy, and I am grateful for that.
I am also a very religious person. I have been going to the same church my entire life, and have grown to love it more than anything else in my life. This is something that I hope to share more openly than I have in the past, and I hope that it can inspire you as well. We are all learning and growing throughout our lives and I want to be able to share those experiences with others. If religion isn’t something you believe in, or you just don’t have the same beliefs as me, please don’t feel unwelcome here. Everyone sees the world differently, and that is OK. I do not harbor any negative feelings toward anyone based on beliefs or politics. We are all human and we are all unique. This uniqueness ensures that we will not always see eye to eye on everything. I respect everyone’s opinions and beliefs and hope that mine can be respected in return.
I live a simple yet happy life. I plan on having kids someday, I work full time and am off on the weekends, and try my best to spend time doing the things I love. I enjoy going to Disney and Universal when I have the chance, beach trips, video games, and just spending time together with my animals. Some of my favorite memories were made in my little apartment with them.
This blog is really going to be about me sharing my life and thoughts with all of you, hoping to inspire, help or uplift you along the way. Thank you for stopping by!
Mairyn Rader 